Sakura's Blossoms
by Master Tobi
Summary: This is complete crack. Sakura decides to repopulate Konoha on her own. However like many families with WAY too many kids, Sakura needs a little help with the bills... she turns to reality TV to help make the ends meet.
1. Chapter 1

Fridays at 10 PM on TLC....

Sakura's Blossoms.

Can Sakura handle all her children and the stress of multiple births? Sakura Hanuro has 19 daughters and a son and she is pregnant with twins. Every child has a different father. Can she cope? At least she has good friends to help, Ino, Hinata and Ten Ten.

Chapter 1

Breakfast with the clan

Sakura woke up to find the cameras already in place. She felt a little sick, but that was to be expected since she was pregnant. Expenses had gotten tight with all her children and only a few of their fathers were able to provide child support (only the ones who were still alive and living in Konoha even bothered to send her a pittance every now and then for their daughters and her son). Sakura remembered with a groan how she'd agreed to let TLC film her family to help with the expenses. First up on her day's agenda was to fix breakfast for her younger children. They had some strange appetites and breakfast often grossed her out. They rarely ever let her get dressed first so she stumbled into the kitchen trying desperately to ignore the strange men in her house. She hoped that her younger children wouldn't hurt or torture the men, but she had no choice but to let them film, if she wanted to keep feeding the brats.

She knew that Kisura, Kisame daughter and 6 years old would be the first up. Sakura tiredly bent over the tank and scooped out two fish for Kisura's breakfast.

"The pediatrician told me that Kisura needed more protein in her diet," said Sakura narrating her life for the camera. She knew that the she was mess, but it better than the alternative. Crunch!

"Ouch!" cried Sakura prying the sharp toothed daughter from her leg. "What have I told you about biting Mommy?"

Sakura pushed her daughter towards a chair at the table. The place had a shallow depression that Sakura dumped the live flapping fish into.

"Hungry, Mommy," replied Kisura.

"I know dear, but Mommy's not on the menu."

Kisura didn't answer but clacked sharp teeth together several times before biting the heads off her fish. Sakura turned her back as the fish were dismembered. It was one the worst parts of the breakfast table. Not the worst mind you, but only one of them.

Next her two year old scuttled into the the kitchen on 6 hands and 2 knees. Sakura shook her head slowly at the sight of Kidura.

"I never thought she'd come out this way," said Sakura slowly. One of the cameramen slipped off in the direction of the bathroom. Sakura understood. "Her dad was Kidumaru. He had 6 arms himself, but I thought Orchimaru had experimented on him. I never dreamed his child would also have 6 arms. Then again, I never expected to bear Kidumaru's child. It was a mix up. I hope," finished Sakura under her breath.

"Bugs, Mommy. Hungry!" cried the child pitifully just as the cameraman returned to the room. He turned green and dove back in the direction of the bathroom. Sakura understood.

Sakura pulled a long black box from under the counter and opened it. The box was filled with wood shavings and rotting food. Sakura bravely stuck her bare hand into the box bringing up a handful of meal worms which she placed into a bowl and took the high chair. Before turning back to the camera, she placed her 8 limbed child into the chair.

"Kidura refused to eat solid food until I noticed that she was eating bugs. The pediatrician said it was okay to feed her mealworms. At least she eats something." Sakura sounded tired and sad.

The 4 year olds Gaakura and Sakazu entered the room hand in hand. Sakura gagged slightly as she pulled the salted tongue from the refrigerator. It was the twins favorite food. Personally she couldn't stand it, but Gaakura's dad, Gaara, had introduced his daughter to it when she visited the sand village the once Sakura had allowed Gaara to see his daughter alone. After the girl had demanded salted tongue for breakfast and fried liver for dinner every day, Sakura was afraid to send the child back to her father ever again. Now and then Gaara visited Konoha for the chuunin exams and he always had dinner with the Hanuro clan.

Gaakura was carrying an much battered and repair teddy bear. Sand was stuck to it fur and large black stitches held the limbs and and head to the somewhat flat body.

"Mommy, I fix it!" cried Sakazu gleefully.

Gaakura silently held up the the bear showing the sewed up mouth and the xs for eyes.

"Very nice, children." Sakura sounded slightly disturbed and her left eye twitched as she turned to the camera. "Sakazu is very talented at sewing, though, she doesn't always sew, appropriately. Last year she tried to sew her own mouth shut. So now she wears a mask to keep her from doing it again. Fortunately, Gaakura has kept her sister busy repair dolls."

"Sand coffin!" cried Gaakura

"Spot!" screamed Nagatura.

Sakura swung around to find Gaakura had sand coffined Nagatura's stuffed dog. The 6 year old was crying. One of the 8 year sextuplets, Yahikura seemed to appear at Nagatura's side, whispering frantically in her ear.

The camera zoomed in on the pair as a microphone picked up their conversation.

"It's okay Nagatura, we'll be gods someday and rule the world. Then we'll deal with Gaakura."

Nagatura sniffed and said, "Yes, sister. Will the other help?"

"Of course, they are already my power." She reached out her hand and drew the reset of the sextuplets to her. The rubbed their sleepily and yawned. No one dared complained. It was as any other day for them.

Sakura shook her head at the morning's ritual. She ushered Gaakura and Sakazu to the table to eat their salted tongue. She grabbed a random handful of vegetables and dumped them into the blender. She took out a large pillbox that had the days of the week printed on the top. Dumping the contents of Monday into the blender. She set it liquefy.

"I'm really worried about Nagatura. She refuses any kind of solid food. The pediatrician gave me gave me these vitamin pill to put in her veggie shakes. We try to keep her calories up, but she sometimes refuses to eat at all. Now the sextuplets eat rice balls for breakfast, but that's because Yahikura wants it. But at least I can just pull those out of the fridge and it's somewhat normal.

"Tobura! What have I said about wearing your mask to the table!"

"Mom!" whined the girl. "I like the mask. It's so cool."

"Fine. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Candy!"

"Tobura, candy isn't good for a 6 years old to eat for breakfast. Try something else."

"Dangos!"

"Whatever," Sakura sighed heavily. She knew her only son was due to arrive at any moment.

"Hello, sisters. You may start admiring the beautiful green beast!"

The young girls all turned away from him.

"Mom! They're shunning me again!"

"Giamaru, I think you should be grateful that shun you. Think about that will you. Is your dad taking you out today?"

"Yeah! We're training today and dad says he has a special gift to present to today in honor of my youth."

"Gee, I wonder what that could be," said Sakura sarcastically.

"Me too!" exclaimed the boy snatching a rice ball from the sextuplets and a dango from Tobura and rushing out out the door.

"Gaimura is my only son. He hangs out with his father a lot. He's 10 now and I think he'll be a Genin soon. Of course that doesn't mean he'll leave home, but he'll around a lot less, which will be fortunate for him. I doubt enemy ninja could beat him up worse that his older sisters can.

"Finally I can go get clean up for the day."

"Why's that?" asked a camera man. "I thought there were more kids?"

"There are, but they're older and some of them have fathers in Konoha and either eat with their fathers or make their own. Inokura and Diekura are 11 and prefer a simple bowl of cereal away from their younger sisters. Shikakura and Sakamura don't roll of bed until the last minute. They're really smart but really lazy. I'm glad they are already chuunin at 13. My oldest girls mostly like to hang out with Kakashi, Kakura dad; she lives with him and refuses to come home. But it's okay because she's already a Jonin like her dad. Jirkura is apprenticed to Naruto and has been traveling with him for the last 3 years. Kibura on the other hand is around a lot more, but she's pretty caught up with her dog Pinkumaru and is probably out 'walking' him."

Sakura retreats into her bedroom, past the cameras to her bathroom. We'll leave the poor overworked mom a few moments to refresh herself.


	2. Chapter 2

I forgot to do this with the first part*****DISCLAIMER*****

I do not own Naruto or any of the Characters found in the Naruto Manga/Anime. I don't really want to own the OCs either but them are the breaks LOL.

Chapter 2

Interview with Kakashi

The Rokudaime was sitting in his office desperately wishing he wouldn't have to do the interview but his daughter had asked him to and he couldn't really deny the girl anything. Kakashi sighed and looked at his watch. The pink haired girl of 15 flounced into his office.

"Dad! The cameramen are waiting. Don't tell me you are going to be late to this meeting."

"Kakura, I'm on my way. I just uhm, had some important business to finish up for the good of the village."

"Sure, dad. You just don't want to go on mom's show. Actually, I don't either but I guess mom does need the money."

The copy-nin stood up and smoothed his Hokage robe out. His daughter nodded imperiously. He carefully adjusted his head band to make sure his sharingan was covered and running a bit of static through his hands, he fluffed out his hair to it's usually height. His hair was fairly unchanged from his youth and he was glad to know that he had good hair genetics, unlike Gai, who merely had a rim of hair left around his head, still in it's signature bowl cut.

Following his daughter, Kakashi went down to the larger meeting room. He blanched slightly at the sight of all the cameras around the room. Usually Kakashi addressed the people of Konoha face to face (well face to masked face, he still enjoyed a good mask). Kakashi took his seat and Kakura stood behind the cameras ready to do her part in the show.

"Kakashi-sama, thank you for joining us on Sakura's Blossoms. We're hoping you can give us a unique insight into Sakura's circumstances."

Kakashi cleared his throat nervously. He'd rather be facing the exploding Pain body and the gravity one again than facing the interviewer and the camera. "You're welcome."

"Now Kakashi-sama, it says here that you were Sakura's ninja sensei?"

"Uh, yes, I was. Well one of them. I was the jonin in charge of team 7 and then Team Kakashi later on."

"And how old was Sakura when you met her?"

The copy cat ninja groaned; he suspected the interview would turn this direction.

"She was 12, but..."

The interview interrupted Kakashi, "And you were how old?"

"26 years old but," tried Kakashi again vainly.

"Sakura was 18 when your daughter was born right?"

"Yes, but..."

"That would make you 32 right?"

"Yes, but..."

"So you turned your sensei- student relationship into something more. Had you always been attracted to children?"

"Listen, I'm not a pedophile! I didn't even know Sakura was pregnant with my child."

"You do read Come Come Paradise, do you not?"

"That doesn't make me a pedophile! I was just as shocked as anyone to see Sakura having my child."

"You saw Sakura having your child?"

Kakashi turned beat red under his mask."No, of course not. She was in the hospital having the babies. Look, I have never been involved with that woman."

"You call the mother of your child 'that woman'? How kind of you."

"I didn't mean it that way. When Kakura, Jirakura and Kibura were born, I went to visit my former student in the hospital. Honestly, I thought that after all those years that Naruto had finally convinced Sakura to give up on Sasuke. I never imagined what Sakura had really been up to. I think poor Jiriaya-sama would be turning in his grave if he knew what was going to happen to his contribution to the sperm bank."

"Sperm bank? Konoha has a sperm bank?"

"After the Orichimaru's attack on Konoha, the Godaime, Tsunade had ordered every surviving male ninja to, ah make a deposit as they say. However the sperm bank was far older than that. It had been established so that we could preserve important lines of ninja families."

"I see, so Sakura used your donation without your permission? She basically stole a Hatake offspring from you?"

"That's not exactly right. See we had to sign waivers giving the medical staff the right to implant our sperm into anyone. So you see, my express permission wasn't need." The 47 year old ninja smiled at the camera.

"When did you first realize that Kakura was your daughter?"

"Right away. When I saw the babies they were asleep in bassinets around her bed. Jirakura already had a full head of hair and Kibura had a feral look to her. Kakura on the other hand was looking around the room and had her blanket pulled up around her nose and mouth. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw her."

"What did you do?"

"Well, I said something. Unfortunately there was a nurse in the room who called in the ANBU to have me arrested."

"Arrested? For what?"

"Statutory rape. Sakura's mother was furious that I'd admit one of the children was mine."

"Obviously the charges were dropped."

"Yes, I could prove that I was out on a mission at the time Sakura got pregnant. And she'd admitted to dabbling in the sperm bank."

"We'd like to bring on Kakura now since we didn't get to meet her at breakfast with the Hanuros this morning."

"Hi, everyone! Hi dad." Kakura trotted over and gave Kakashi a peck on the cheek.

Kakashi blushed slightly at the public show of affection by his daughter. "Hi, darling."

"Kakashi, I understand that Kakura lives with you now."

"That's true."

"How did that come about that you stole one of Sakura's oldest daughters from her?"

"I did not..."

"It was my choice to go live with dad." Kakura put an arm around her father.

"When did that happen?"

"I was 5 when Gaimaru was born. I think I was a little angry at mom for having a boy finally. And Deidura was a year old and it was just kind of creepy. But I stuck it out until mom got pregnant with the sextuplets. I was already in Ninja school by then and I asked dad if I could come live with him."

"I had to agree, seeing as how Kakura already had 7 other sibling and was going to have almost double the number with her mom's pregnancy. I wasn't going on missions any more as Tsunade-sama wanted to retire and Naruto had not been seen in many years. Tsunade-sama asked me to fill in the role of Hokage at least until Naruto got back."

"And Sakura just agreed to losing one of her eldest daughters just like that?"

"She didn't have much choice. Kakura kept running away from home and coming to me."

"And daddy made a decree that I was to stay with him. Thanks daddy."

"You're welcome sweetheart."

"Hey! How come no one invited me!" came a voice from the back of the room. Jirakura was standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry, you are?"

"Can't you tell? I'm Jirakura."

"I'm sorry, this interview is for the Hokage and his daughter."

"It's okay. Jirakura is like another daughter to me. She's often at my house with Kakura. Her dad died a long time ago, before she was even born and I kind of felt sorry for her."

Jirakura crossed the room with her big powerful strides.

"Nice to see you again, oji-san."

"I see Naruto has been teaching you manners, young lady."

Kakura squealed and ran over to her broad shouldered sister. The two pink haired girls hugged tightly.

"When did you get back?" asked Kakura eagerly.

"Just now. Wait until you see what I wrote on my journey with Naruto-sensei!"

"Don't tell me! Does it have to do with your research?"

Kakashi had settled back into his chair and pulled out a purple bound book. The camera pans in on the cover. It read Come Come Revisited. The Rokudaime studiously ignored both the camera and the reunion between the girls. Jirakura glanced at Kakashi.

"He never changes does he?"

"Well, daddy is reading a new series. He thinks Naruto-sensei is writing them."

Jirakura looked at the book title and giggled hysterically. "Ero-sensei doesn't have the imagination to write those," confided Jirakura. "I did."

Kakashi stopped reading and looked up, sweat rolling down his face. "You wrote these?"

"You betcha."

"And do you still deny being a pedophile?"

"Of course! I thought my old student wrote this! It's just like his other master would have written and I haven't seen Naruto in years."

"He hasn't changed much," laughed Jirakura.

"Now how did it come about that you trained with Naruto-sama?"

"About 3 years ago, Naurto came into my office after his long absence from the village. I swear he looked just like my old master. It was pretty creepy, I even addressed him as Yondaime. He laughed and then asked after the girls. He wanted to take both Kakura and Jirakura with him for training, but by then Kakura was already a jonin, like her old man."

"I could have gone with Jirakura?" asked Kakura accusingly. "That would have been a lot of fun!"

"But you wouldn't have gotten all those really cool missions. Besides we've been trying to see if we can awaken a sharingan in you. So far, not too much progress on that. Anyway, Jirakura, did Naruto come back into the village with you?"

"Yes, Ojii-san. He's at Ichiraku's Ramen shop."

"Figures. He never changes." Kakashi laughed and stood up. "Well, guys I have to end the interview here. Village business you know."

"Sure, dad," said Kakura. "Jirakura and I will go visit mom. She'll be glad to

see us."

The camera panned over the Rokudaime who causally rose from his chair and sauntered out the door. His left hand sneaked under his robe to pull out the purple volume again from his hip pouch as he exited the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer I do not own Sakura, Hinata, Ino or any of the other Naruto charaters.

Chapter 3

Dressing the children

Sakura emerged from her bathroom looking refreshed. Her pink hair, newly washed, was tied back with her Konoha headband and she was wearing her typical Hanuro dress, the maternity version of it. She almost looked like the fresh face younger version of herself in the picture on her mantle; the one taken just before she'd begun her repopulation endeavor.

"I have to go the other way now," she smiled at the camera. "The older kids have to get ready for ninja school or to go on their missions. As I said before, I don't have to worry about my 15 year olds. Kakura is already a jounin and lives with her father. I haven't seen Jirakura in about 3 years. I hear she's due back in Konoha soon; I can't wait to see her again.

"Kibura is a chuunin and probably out with her dad by now. Once in a while I can get her to babysit for me, but not often anymore. The Rokudaime keeps the chuunins pretty busy patrolling. We're still not up to our prime yet, even though it's been 17 years since Pain's attack."

Sakura walked up to one of the bedroom doors and began pounding on it as loudly as she could, with a broom handle, conveniently located by the door. Her face became a mask of fury as the pounding and shouting went on. Several of the cameramen shook their heads in embarrassment for the konouchi.

Finally a dual lazy "What?" proceeded from the room.

"Get up or you'll be late!" screeched Sakura.

"It's too troublesome," said Shikura or was it Sakamara?

"We'll be there soon," said Sakamara unless it was Shikura.

Satisfied Sakura turned back to the camera, her face sweet once again. "I have to start getting them up now or they'll never make their patrol. They are 13 and both of them made chuunin last year." Pride sparkled in her eyes.

"However, they are just like their dads, uhm, I mean dad, Shikaku. He's kind of slow moving and, uhm, and so is his oldest son, Shikamaru. Not that I would know from experience of course. I could never have done that to my good friend Shikamaru."

BOOOM!

"What was that?" yelped a cameraman.

"Oh that was just Deidura. She likes to annoy Inokura. Deidura found out a couple years ago that she wasn't Inoichi's daughter and ever since has delighted in setting off explosions to wake her sister."

"Sakura! I'm here."

"Oh, Hinata could you calm down Inokura? I'm sure Deidura upset her again this morning. I'm going to get the clothes for the sextuplets and see if they are done eating."

"Al-alright, Sakura." Sakura headed off to the laundry room with a camera in tow and Hinata headed to the room which Inokura and Deidura shared. Inokura was yelling at her sister.

"Why must you always blow up my pillow!" screamed Inokura.

"It's art!" replied Deidura hotly.

"Just because YOU got expelled from ninja school doesn't mean that you have to pick on me!"

"Uhm, girls. Please stop arguing. Inokura, you're going to be late if you don't start getting ready."

"But Hinata-san! Did you see what Deidura did to my pillow?"

"Ino- Inokura, she always blows up your pillow. I'll help you restuff it again when you get home from school." Hinata touched her index fingers together shyly.

"Fine," huffed Inokura. "I'll see you after your community service, artless." The girl sped out of the room before Deidura could react.

Hinata stepped in front of the pink hair girl, "Let me help you put your pony tail up."

Deidura grumbled a bit under her breath, but let the older woman comb and tie her her hair.

"You know," said the girl calmer, "The community service isn't so bad. The Rokudaime lets me clear rubble with my art. It's pretty fun sometimes."

"The Rokudaime is a wise man," said Hinata quietly.

"I suppose. I wonder what it would be like to be his daughter though. Kakura is so lucky. She doesn't have to share a room with anyone and her dad is actually interested in her."

"Sweetie, you know that your dad died a long time ago."

"But why won't Inokura's dad accept me too? I look just like Inokura!" The girl began to cry. "I'm just a mistake!"

"That's not true, honey. Your mom wanted you."

"Mom didn't want me! She wanted Sasuke's baby!"

"How did you find that out?" The Hyuga was shocked.

"Come on look at all my little sisters. Everyone of them is some weird ninja's or another's baby, most of them are dead. Where do you think they came from?"

"I hadn't really thought about it," Hinata said quietly.

"I followed Mom before Kidura was born. I saw her meet with that Sasuke guy. I also saw how she cried and cried when Kidura was born."

"Hush, you better go get your breakfast before you report to the clean-up detail. Your hair is just the way you like it."

"Thanks Hinata. I can never talk to mom about stuff like this. She's too busy popping out another kid all the time." Deidura jumped up and ran out of the room.

Meanwhile Sakura found herself in laundry room laying out the clothes for her younger children. Most of the children had separate baskets for each of them but the sextuplets clothes were arranged differently.

"The sextuplets always have to wear matching clothes," confided Sakura to the camera. "So rather than give each child a basket, I organize them into 6 different baskets with matching outfit for each of them."

Sakura went to the sextuplets room and pushed in with her arm full of clothes. Yahikura was the mouth piece for her sisters and the girls were getting more and more secretive as they got older. The girls were arranged in a circle on the floor with Nagatura part of their number.

"I just brought your clothes in for you. You six better hurry up and get ready or you'll be late for ninja academy."

Yahikura rose and took their clothes from her mom and began pushing Sakura towards the door.

"I'll make sure they get ready, Mom. You need to go take carry of littler kids. Just leave Nagatura's clothes outside the door. I'll get her ready too."

Speechless Sakura allowed herself to be pushed away. The door closed firmly behind her. She looked straight into the camera.

"I don't know what I am going to do with those girls. I can't get 5 of them to talk to me, but Yahikura claims they speak to her. I've talked to the pediatrician about them, but she doesn't seem worried at all. Now they are sucking Nagatura into their group. It's almost scary."

Sakura shook herself and returned to the laundry room. It was time to get Tobura's, Nagatura's and Kisura's clothes ready. They went to a pre-ninja academy class.

Tobura streaked past the laundry room, her hands in the air and giggling wildly. Sakura swore under her breath and grabbed a random set of clothes from the basket for Tobura and took off after her.

"Tobura! Get dressed young lady!"

The cameraman valiantly tried to keep up with the mother and daughter. He lost them. The front door slammed loudly.

"Tobura you can't go out like that!" called Sakura desperately.

The front door opened again just as the cameraman reached it. A blonde woman had pushed the door open. She had Tobura by the shoulder.

"Aw, Ino-san," whined the girl.

"Well billboard head, I see you still have trouble keeping Tobura in the house." said the blonde.

"Ino-Pig, nice timing as usual. Thanks for catching her. Could you go wake up the twins? I can't let Tobura out of my sight until she's dressed."

The blonde konouchi laughed. "I'll try. The are very like the Nara family, you know."

Sakura now had the 6 year old's shoulder and was handing the clothes to her.

"Aw, mom, these don't match my mask!" whined the girl.

Sakura ignored the girl. "How's Shikamaru don't these days. I haven't seen to much of him."

"He's been on patrol a lot. There is something going on but the Rokudaime hasn't shared what he suspects with the rest of his jounins."

"Well, tell him I said hi when you see him tonight."

"I will billboard head," the blonde laughed again and went down the hall to the twins' room.

Sakura hustled the captured Tobura to the laundry room and shut the door between her and the camera.

"A moment please while I get Tobura dressed," said Sakura through the door.

From down the hall came the sound of pounding on the closed bedroom door of the twins. Ino's voice filled the hall.

"Get up! Get up NOW! If you don't get out of those beds this minute, I'm coming in after you!"

After 5 minutes of pounding and screaming, a faint "how troublesome" was heard. Ino came back down the hall satisfied.

"They'll get up now," she said confidently. "Sakura, let me in. Is Tobura ready for school?"

The door opened and Tobura zoomed out between the waiting konouchi and the camera. She was down the hall almost before the cameraman could turn his camera to follow her.

"Thank goodness," sighed Sakura. "She'll get to school eventually. She's usually late because something distracts her. I'll send Kisura after her in a few moments."

"I'll go get Kisura ready, Sakura. She's already eaten?"

"Yes, she's had her breakfast, but I still would keep an eye on her," warned Sakura.

"I know," replied the blonde, "she still bites. Don't you think she should know better by now?"

"You'd think. But I think something in her genetics makes it hard for her to keep things out of her mouth. Maybe that whole shark thing she has going on." Sakura laughed bitterly as handed Kisura's outfit , a pretty black sun-dress with red clouds on it, to Ino.

"What's this?" asked Ino.

"I know, but Kisura saw a picture of the Akatsuki cloaks and asked my mom for a dress just like it."

"Okay. You know I'm worried about some of your kids. What are you going to do to Sasuke when you find him again?"

"Don't ask. I have plans." Sakura said darkly.

Ino merely nodded and went in search of the blue skinned 6 year old. Sakura gathered up both Nagatura's clothes and Gaakura and Sakuzu's clothes and left the laundry room again.

She hung the clothes on the sextuplets's door knob and knocked politely.

"Yahikura, here are her clothes. Please hurry you are going to be late."

Sakura moved on in search of her 4 year olds. Already the freshness from the shower was wearing off. She found them in the playroom. Gaakura was happily sand coffining toys and Sakazu sat by her side. The little masked girl looked up at her mom and held out the teddy bear that was in her hands.

"I fixin' it, Mommy," said the little girl sweetly.

"I see that. It's time to get dressed now."

"Okay, Mommy," The two girls spoke in unison. The both stood silently in front of their mother as she helped them undress and redress in clean clothes. As soon as she was done, the twins wandered away to continue their activities.

"At least it keeps them amused," sighed Sakura.

She left the playroom and returned once more to the laundry room. Hinata was already waiting for Sakura there.

"Deidura has left. I think both she and Inokura had a pop tart before they left," said Hinata quietly.

"Great, thanks Hinata. Have you seen Shikura and Sakamara?" sighed Sakura wearily.

"No, not yet."

"Could you go wake them? They are really going to be late now. I need to find where Kidura has scuttled off to this morning. Yesterday I found her under the couch." Sakura shuddered slightly.

"Of course," replied Hinata.

Hinata went back down the hallway to the closed door of the twins. She knocked gingerly on the door. The sound barely carried beyond the door.

"Uhm, girls, you need to get up," said Hinata at volume barely over a whisper.

The door opened and the twins emerged sleepily.

"Okay, Aunt Hinata," said one of the girls but Hinata wasn't sure which girl it was.

Meanwhile Sakura roamed the house looking under beds and furniture.

"I just don't get that little girl. She seems to enjoy dark places."

Finally Sakura managed to locate her in the back of a closet on the shelf. Sakura picked up the little girl but couldn't suppress a shudder as Kidura wrapped her six arms around her.

They were in Inokura and Deidura's room. Sakura put the little girl up the bed and helped her into her specially made top and coveralls.

"My mom made the clothes for Kidura. Obviously, nothing normal fits her. Okay, you can go play Kidura." Kidura burbled happily. "Now to clean up the mess from breakfast and gather the laundry and," Sakura sighed heavily. "At least all the older kids are at school. It makes it so much easier."


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry guys about the long hiatus. I have plenty more written but I got busy and didn't get to editing what I have (I have solved that problem now since a good part of the rest is edited). Hopefully, it was worth the wait as this chapter is about Mighto Gai LOL.

As usual, I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.

Chapter 4

Interview with jounin Mighto Gai

Gai stood in training ground 3 waving as a young boy dressed in green spandex with his pink hair cut into a bowl cut raced away toward Konoha's ninja school. The look of pride on his face was unmistakable. He

pushed his toupee on his head more firmly and adding a touch of chakra to make sure it would stick as he walked over to the pair of chairs being set up for his interview. A pretty lady waited for him in one of the chairs. Putting on his most rakish smile, the strutted over to her.

"Hi, I'm Mighto Gai, the beautiful green beast." He drawled seductively.

The interviewer frowned slightly. "Good. Sit down."

He draped himself back against the chair with his legs spread as if preparing for her to be unable to restrain herself. He seemed confident in his good looks even though his toupee looked like a dead squirrel on his head, a black dead squirrel.

"I'm ready for my interview sweet thing." He said with a smile. "Afterwards do you want to go back to my place?"

"Let me check my calendar," she replied picking up her day planner. "I'm open on the twelveth of never."

"Ooh, shot down," he moaned. "Shot down in the flower of my youth."

"I think the young train left eons ago," she retorted.

Gai sat up in his chair a little dejected muttering to himself, "I'll bet my eternal rival got nowhere with her too."

"And Action..."said the director.

"I'm here with jounin Mighto Gai, Gaimaru's father. Hello, Gai-san."

"Hello, I am Konoha's beautiful green beast," He said with a smile.

"Uhm, right. So the Rokudaime has already informed us that Sakura's children were born through artificial insemination or AI. Is that correct."

Gai hesitated momentarily, "Uh, yes that is true."

"You hesitated. Is that how Gaimaru was conceived?"

"Well, uhm, no," said Gai quietly. "She asked me not to talk about it."

"Come on Gai-san, our viewers have right to know how such a handsome young man as yourself came to be a father," she purred.

"I really shouldn't"

"It'll be our little secret." The interviewer tilted her head cutely and touched her chin with her index finger.

"Oh, all right. It was after Inokura and Deidura were born. Sakura was really upset about something. I never figured out what it was. Kakashi and I were having a guy's night out at the bar. It was one of the best nights of my life."

"Really," asked the interviewer leaning in toward Gai.

"I think it was. I was having a great time with Kakashi."

"A great time with Kakashi?"

"Uh, not like that. I'd finally gotten one up on him in our rivalry and he had to treat me to dinner and sing Karoke. I challenged him to another task so he could try to catch up."

"And what would that be?" asked the interviewer.

"He had to sing "I'm Too Sexy!" giggled Gai into his hand. His toupee slipped slightly.

"I can't imagine the Rokudaime singing that," gasped the interviewer.

"Oh he did. Motions and all," guffawed the jounin. "That's when Sakura walked in. I don't think she even noticed Kakashi on stage. She found me and asked where he was."

"She asked after Kakashi-sama?"

"Yes, and when I pointed to the stage, Kakashi was singing that he was too sexy for his mask and all the women in the bar were yelling at him to take it off. Sakura turned bright pink and ordered a drink. Kakashi never made it back to our table. I don't really know where he went after his rendition of 'I'm Too Sexy", but it was the best night ever. Sakura stuck around and had a few more, so did I actually.

"After a couple drinks, she started to hit on me. At first I resisted, but we kept drinking. Next thing I knew, I woke up alone in my apartment, sans jumpsuit. Nine months later, Gaimaru was born."

"So you are a blackout drinker?"

"No! Not usually. Once in a while though..."

"I see and so you are just a dirty old man who wanted to get his hands on some hot young flesh?"

"No, it wasn't like that! It was two young people enjoying the flower of youth!" Gai stood up and clutched his chest as he expounded on how beautiful it was. Behind him the sun set and crashing waves rose up.

"How did you do that?" screeched the interviewer.

"Do what?" asked Gai confused.

"Make the background change, made the sun set, the waves crash? We're in a field!"

Gai looked behind him. There was just the three logs standing in the field.

"What are you talking about?" he demanded.

"I saw it! Didn't you see it?" she pointed to one of the cameramen, who nodded in agreement.

Gai sat down in a huff, his arms crossed on his chest. "You just don't want to hear about the night I spent with Sakura."

"I'm sorry for interrupting you, please go on."

Gai leaned forward with a wolfish look on his face. "How about I show you?" His toupee slipped a little more.

"Uhm, tell me about Gaimaru," said the interviewer trying to change the subject.

"Oh, Gaimaru! Isn't he just the flower of Youth? He has finally earned his elegant suit of clothes. He has trained hard enough that I have presented him with his own green jumpsuit to take his Taijutsu to another level. Soon I will teach him the Lotus and how to open the gates."

"Open the gates, the Lotus? What are you planning to teach that boy?" The interviewer looked accusingly at Gai.

Gai jumped up, his chakra control over his toupee gone now, and the toupee itself gone as well. "What are you implying Miss? I have only my son's best interests at heart."

"Of course you have," replied the interviewer placatingly, motioning Gai to resume his seat. "Do you ever help Sakura with any of the other children?"

"No, only my son. I had to teach him how to stand up to a bunch of girls. Of course Kakashi's daughter was one of them that picked on my son. I think they were all secretly jealous that I could produce a son."

"I bet," muttered the interviewer. "Well, I think that's all we have time for right now."

"So you said you were free this afternoon for me to show you some of my 'techniques'". Gai winked exaggeratedly at the interviewer.

"No," she blurted. "I have to wash my hair." She flung the microphone at the director and stalked away.

"She'll be back," said Gai confidently. "No woman can resist the beautiful green beast of Konoha."

Interlude 1...

While Gai had his interview, Kakashi went in search of Naruto at his favorite Ramen shop. He ducked under the awning to find Naruto at a stool chowing down on a huge bowl of ramen. A pretty girl waited on him while an older lady stood behind making the ramen.

"Uzumaki Nartuo!" barked the Rokudaime. "You are supposed to report to the Hokage's office first!"

Naruto jumped slightly and turned around sheepishly. "Oh Kakashi-sensei, it's just you," he laughed relieved.

Rather than argue with the jinchuriki, Kakashi sat down next to him.

"Order a bowl of ramen," said Naruto.

"No thanks," replied Kakashi. "I just came to see if you were sticking around this time. Jirakura looks good."

"I think I might hang out around Konoha for a while. Jirakura told me all about her mom, in great detail."

"I doubt that she knows she has a new little sister and new ones on the way," laughed Kakashi.

"A new sister? Only one?" laughed Naruto sardonically.

"Well, I think there are twins on the way, but no one knows who their fathers are. We never do you know."

"What about the new kid?"

"Do you remember that 6 armed guy you fought long ago? The one Neji killed?"

"HIM! Where does she come up with the..." Naruto couldn't finish.

"No one knows. That Sakura should have been in the ANBU. I've set ANBU Black Ops to find out, but she's good. They've all failed."

"I see."

"Did you know that she's doing a TV program?"

"No, not much chance to watch TV when you are moving as much as we did. I couldn't stay in any one place very long. Jirakura is as pervy as her dad was." Naruto laughed. "She took up where her father left off. I hate to admit it but I introduced her to ero-sennin's publisher."

"She's good," replied the Hokage pulling the purple volume from his pouch.

Naruto laughed. "I see you haven't changed."

"Nor have you," replied Kakashi. "So am I forgiven?"

"I forgave you long ago, sensei. I just couldn't bear to come back to Konoha and watch Sakura do that to herself. I was willing to be there for her through everything and she chose to have both of my masters' children and Kiba's! Why Kiba? She didn't have to do this."

"I know, but some how she feels it's up to her to bring strong young ninja to Konoha, but the situation has deteriorated. I'm seriously worried about some of her younger children. That's why I need you to stay this time."

Naruto just nodded and shoveled more ramen into his mouth.

" By the way, thanks for taking Jirakura. I think she may have gotten very frustrated living in that house and being left behind by Kakura."

"How is Kakura?"

"She made jounin right after you guys left," replied Kakashi proudly. "But I didn't let her join ANBU right after she became a jounin."

"Good thought. She's not like you, sensei," said Naruto.

"Hey!" interjected the Rokudaime, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that I think she grew up in a different time. We're not at war now so she didn't have to kill at such a young age. Like how you protected us."

Mollified, Kakashi replied, "I guess so. And she did have her father around, so she didn't have to grow up so fast."

"That's right." Naruto scooped another bite of ramen into his mouth.

"So did you learn anything more about where Sasuke went?"

"A little bit, I found him a couple times and tried to convince him to come home. But every time he told me his home was no longer Konoha. The group he travels with seems to be getting larger too. But I have yet to figure out exactly who he's traveling with. I know there is a woman though. I wonder if I should tell Sakura."

"No!" Kakashi almost shouted. "I mean, no. Please don't. I think she's already overcompensated for Sasuke's defection long ago. I dread to see what she might do if she finds out that Sasuke is with someone else." The Rokudaime rose. "Well, Naruto, I have village business to attend to, drop by the office and I can start you learning how to be Hokage so you can take over for me."

"Sure, sure," replied the jinchuriki through another mouthful of ramen.

"Have another bowl on me," laughed Kakashi paying the bill.

Naruto's eyes popped wide as he saw his old master pay for the ramen.

"Thanks," he said.

As the Hokage walked out he threw one last comment over his shoulder, "Go see Hinata."

As Kakashi walked away, he passed the interviewer from that morning. She was muttering something under her breath and shaking her head as if to remove some unpleasant image from her mind. From the horrified look in her eyes, it wasn't helping. He wandered a bit closer so he could catch what she was saying.

"I quit. I quit. I never want to see that green freak again."

Kakashi smiled slightly under his mask, pulled out his purple volume again and wandered back to his office.


	5. Chapter 5

****Disclaimer**** I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. This chapter is a little longer than most but then Sakura has a lot of work to do LOL.

Chapter 5

Chores

The cameras were still closely following Sakura, Ino and Hinata as they bustled around the house. Hinata took on the breakfast dishes and Ino gathered the laundry. Sakura began the long process of organizing the kids rooms. Kibura had a room to herself and Pinkumaru since her sisters no longer lived at home. Kibura hardly spent any time in the room so normally it just a matter of tidying up the bed, but today was a different matter.

"Kibura!" barked Sakura. "How many times have I told you to shave that dog outside?"

There was pink fur scattered across the room. Kibura of course was no where to be seen; she'd left long ago to work on a mission. Sakura stared at the mess for moment as if deciding what to do about it. She pulled a notepad from her hip pouch, before she flipped it open, the camera panned in on the cover. It read, "Sakura's Rants".

"I keep this notebook so I can write down things I have to discuss with the children. Otherwise, I'd forget," laughed Sakura.

She wrote quickly in the notepad and returned it to her pouch. She tidied the bed and swept the floor. Kibura was going to catch it from Sakura tonight when she got home. Sakura was plotting Kibura's punishment. The konouchi laughed to herself and pulled out the notepad again, writing quickly.

"Babysitting," muttered Sakura. "That'll teach her." She laughed humorlessly again.

Sakura closed the door behind her to keep the younger kids out of the freshly cleaned room. She pulled out a different pad from her pouch and crossed off Kibura's room.

"The twins," read Sakura aloud.

Sakura crossed the hall to the twins room. They were too lazy to ever make their beds let alone pick up their laundry or anything else in their room. Sakura took a deep breath before opening the door. The door swung open mere inches before something stopped it.

"How did they get out of here?" asked Sakura shaking her head.

She pushed a little harder to open the door just wide enough to slip into the room. For a moment she disappeared behind the door and then it opened completely to allow the cameras full view of the room. Blankets were strewn around the room. Socks hung from every available surface and shogi pieces were scattered across the room like a mine field. Sakura held a shogi board up to the camera.

"Honestly, I don't understand them. Somehow they had this board lodged against the door, but were able to get out themselves. And the socks! I can never figure out where they come from. I am quite positive we don't have this many socks in the whole house."

Sakura's Rants came out of the hip pouch once again and the ninja scribble in the pad furiously for a few moments. She sighed.

"Not that this will do me much good. Like the Nara family, they'll just give me an 'it's too troublesome'."

Sakura piled the socks in one corner for Ino to collect, knowing that tomorrow would find the same number of socks in the same locations, almost like they purposely hung the socks around the room. Only that idea seemed too troublesome for the twins to do. They really only enjoyed watching the clouds go by. The shogi board was returned to it's place on the table and Sakura gleefully set up a horrible situation on the board know that the girls couldn't stand to look at the problem and not solve it.

"This is their daily punishment for leaving a messy room," laughed Sakura. "I asked Shikamaru to give me shogi puzzle book to prevent the girls from being too lazy."

Once the beds were made again, Sakura crossed the room off her list of chores and a look of dread crossed her face.

"Deidura and Inokura room," moaned Sakura. "Ever since Diedura started blowing things up, their room has gotten harder to clean."

The ninja crossed the hall again as she wondered why she hadn't put them in a row rather than across hall. Slowly she pushed the yellow door painted with birds and pigs open. Sakura looked around the room. The wall were covered in clay splatter, but under the clay were a plethora of posters. Over Inokura's bed was a poster of Neji with a handlebar mustache drawn on it in permanent marker. Over Deidura's bed was a poster of the "Black Cat", Train, with glasses drawn over the eyes in a different color. There were old posters from when the girls were little like Pakkun and the Nindogs, kittens with shoes on, Hannah Monanta and the Jonas brothers. All were defaced in various shades of permanent marker. Sakura shook her head at the poster war that had been rage for a number of years.

Piggy banks and ceramic birds lined every flat surface. In the center of the room lay the shattered remains of pink pig with flowers. No matter how many shattered knick knacks she found on the floor, the number never seemed to decrease.

Pillow stuffing clung to the clay and other various parts of the room. Sakura started by pulling the stuffing off the walls and dropping them into a new pillow case (of which she now had an ample supply since Deidura's new habit of blowing up her sister's pillow started). The clay wasn't as easy to remove and as Sakura muttered under her breath to herself, she pulled out the "Sakura's Rants" notebook. Of course she recorded the carnage to the room. Once the room was satisfactorily cleaned up, Sakura glanced at her watch.

"Darn, it's getting late already. I need to be getting the little ones some lunch soon. Maybe I have time for Gaimaru's room." She said hurrying out.

Being the only male offspring and a single birth, Gaimaru had his own room. In general Gaimaru was a bit untidy but nothing like his two older sisters. Or at least that's what Sakura thought until she pushed the door to his room open.

"OMG Sakura, what is that smell?" coughed Ino coming up from behind her.

Gagging Sakura replied, "I don't know Ino. It's the first time his room has smelled this bad."

Ino leaned in and cautiously sniffed. "Eww, I think it's boy. When was the last time he bathed?"

"Uhm, yesterday or was it the day before. Ooops, I've lost track. Looks like I forgot to write that one down."

Ino backed off slightly. "Well, I picked up all the laundry except for Gaimaru's which I'll get right now. Should I make lunch for girls?"

"Yes, please," whimpered Sakura stealing herself to enter Gaimaru's room and the shrine to his father, Gai. She looked across the wall before entering the room. There were life sized posters of Gai on every wall progressing from his youth to a more current shot of the green clad jounin. The progression of the pictures showed his hairline recede until the last picture, in which he was wearing the awful toupee. The konouchi took a deep breath and plunged into the room with Ino hot on her tail. They quickly tossed out the sweaty socks and the several pair of dirty jockey shorts (even though Sakura had cleaned his room yesterday, just like every day). Unable to stand it anymore, Sakura dove for the window and wrenched it open, taking huge gasping breaths at the fresh air.

Ino waved nastily as she carted off the dirty laundry leaving Sakura in the stench. Even with the dirty clothes gone and the window open, the room still stank. She wondered if Gai had given the boy some cologne or something that intensified the raunchy odor. Still standing at the window, the female ninja pulled out her notebook and jotted down a few notes, even though she was sure she wouldn't forget to mention the stench to her only son.

The morning was rapidly slipping away and the chores weren't even close to being done. She still had 4 bedrooms as well as the playroom and the general living areas to clean before the kids returned home from school or from their missions. She thought about asking Kakashi to give the kids some missions away from home, but ever since his edict allowing Kakura to live with him, the konouchi had felt a bit resentful to her old teacher. Though if she were being honest with herself, the fact that he'd taken on the girl permanently and Jirakura nearly permanently, had been a big help as the family increased in size.

Shaking off her momentary distraction, Sakura went the sextuplets' room. When she tried to turn the handle, nothing happened. The door was locked. Sakura whipped out "Sakura's Rants" and scribbled in it violently.

"I have told them a thousand times not to lock this door!" growled Sakura. "How am I supposed to clean this room if it's locked?"

Sakura calmed herself and focused on the door knob. Nothing happened. She pulled a kuni from her pouch and tried to pick the lock. Still nothing.

"They are getting better at keeping their door locked," mused Sakura. "Well, they usually keep their room neat and their laundry turned in. One less room for me to worry about this morning."

Sakura heaved a huge sigh, she hated to see her little girls gain so much independence. It had almost killed her when Kakura had run away to her father's and the Rokudaime had supported a 6 year old's decision to leave her mother.

Sakura proceeded to the room of the next set of children, her 6 years olds. Kisura, Tobura and Nagatura shared a room, though Sakura was sure that soon Nagatura would be moving out to the sextuplets' room. Sakura had been putting the child to bed in her room every night, but usually after Sakura herself went to bed, the girl joined her older sisters.

Sakura opened the door to the bedroom. The camera panned the bedroom. One corner had a neatly made bed and everything seemed in place. The rest of the room was in chaos. Sakura walked into the room and stood surveying the damage with her hands on her hips. A frown creased her face as she once again reached into her hip pouch. Before she had a a chance to withdraw the little notebook, something fell with a plop onto the top of her head. A growl escaped her throat; the konouchi looked down to find a dango had rolled off her head onto the ground. She looked up just in time for a second dango to slip down the stick and hit her right between the eyes. The ceiling was a pin cushion of empty dango sticks and Sakura was standing directly beneath the only stick that still had food on it.

"Everyday!" grumbled Sakura. "I didn't even feed her this many dangos. Yet there they all are! I swear I'm going to stop feeding that girl dangos!"

Sakura wrote it down in the notebook, although like the smell in Gaimaru's room, she wasn't likely to forget her daily rant for Tobura. The konouchi walked up the wall to the ceiling, pulled the dango sticks out and threw them into a trash can across the room. The cameraman's mouth gaped open at the sight. Having pulled the very last stick out, Sakura pushed off the ceiling and did a flip to land on her feet. She straightened the candy colored sheets on Tobura's bed and pushed aside the pile of homework that Tobura had once again forgotten to take with her to school.

The ninja reluctantly turned to the third bed in the room. Kisura's corner wasn't exactly neat either. Like most of the other beds in the house, this one too was still unmade. Sakura touched the sheets and quickly pulled her hand back.

"It's WET!" she shouted.

One of the cameramen couldn't hold back a snicker and the ninja rounded on him, fury plain on her face. She took one step in his direction before she recovered her equilibrium. He paled and flinched back slightly. Sakura reached down, gingerly touching the wetness. She sniffed her hand delicately at first and then more vigorously.

"It doesn't smell like anything so it probably just water," she sighed relieved.

She stripped the bed and dumped the pile outside the laundry room door. Fetching a clean set of sheets and some towels, she returned the bedroom. Somehow in her absence, more water had spread, this time onto the floor around the bed. Sakura contemplated how to set up her blue daughter so that this kind of thing didn't happen again or at least was easier to deal with next time. Sakura left the bed sheets on a dry part of the bed, to be put on later after things had had a chance to dry.

She checked the water filled, but empty aquarium in the room for leaks but everything seemed fine with it including the water level. The cameraman looked puzzled at the lack of fish in the aquarium. The ninja ignored him, left and returned with a net full of live fish. She dropped them into the running tank.

"Midnight snack," smiled Sakura. She poured a little food into the tank, the fishes last meal so speak. "If I don't do this, Kisura has a tendency to chew on her sisters at night."

"Chew on," stammered the cameraman, breaking his silence for the first time.

"Well, she's constantly teething. She has an incredible amount of teeth. Even the pediatrician was just shocked to realize that her teeth just keep coming in. She is constantly losing them too, but what do you expect she chews on everything."

When the room was sufficiently tidy, Sakura left to deal with the 4 year olds' room. The room was fortunately pretty routine since the girls spent most of their time in the playroom. There was sand on the floor, but that was to be expected with Gaakura's affinity for sand. Where ever she went, the sand seemed to follow, even if sand wasn't apparent to the naked eye. There were also, of course, bits of thread, usually black from Sakazu's sewing projects. Sakazu's bed was still made as it usually was and glanced at it.

"Well, won't that be fun to remove during bedding day." Sakura pointed out the thick black stitches holding the sheets in place. "She slips into the top and never has to worry about her bed being unmade."

The ninja shook out the sheets on Gaakura's bed and a good deal of sand fell out. Shaking her head, Sakura quickly remade the bed and swept up the sand. Rather than dumping the sand in the trash however, Sakura added the sand to a large jug.

"Gaara told me this was the best way for her to gain chakra enriched sand. She some times plays with the sand in the jar which just adds to it's power. Although I doubt the wisdom of doing this."

Sakura left the room without adding anything to her notebook. She would talk to the kids over lunch. Finally Sakura tackled the last of the bedrooms, Kidura's room. She took a long handled feather duster with her. Like the four year olds room, Kidura's was never bad, but had it's quirks. The major one was the cobwebs. Everyday Sakura cleaned the cobwebs from all the corners and everyday the cob webs were bigger.

Sakura laughed sardonically, "I'm half afraid that one day the whole room will be filled with webs and I'll get stuck in here."

"Sakura! Lunch is ready!" called Ino.

"I don't know what I'd do without them. Chores always take so long."


	6. Chapter 6

The interviewer in this chapter is not meant to be offensive. He's meant to torture the Konoha Ninjas (the men at least LOL). As usual, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in Naruto.

Chapter 6

Interview with the Naras

"Dad, do we have to do this?" complained Shikamaru.

"I know. It's so troublesome. But the mother of our children," started Shikaku

"Your children," interrupted Shikamaru.

"Whatever, it's too troublesome."

"That my line," started Shikamaru.

"Okay let's start this interview boys," lisped a frail looking, pretty blond man.

"I thought we were being interviewed by a woman," stated Shikaku.

"She," snap, " quit. Just like that." Another snap. "Something about a guy, or was it Guy. I don't know but I've taken over."

"Troublesome," said father and son in unison.

"Oh, I like threesomes."

"Just do the interview," Shikamaru stated flatly, dreading the rest of the morning and what Ino would do to him when she saw the interview. Shikaku wasn't looking forward to facing his own wife either.

"Okay, so it's like my understanding that like you both have children with Sakura. Shikamaru how did you feel about your dad doing your girlfriend at the same time. Threesome!" Snap.

"Hey!" they both cried blushing.

"It was artificial insemination!" said Shikamaru. "And uh," he stammered. "It was only my dad's."

"Liar," coughed Shikaku clearing his throat. "Sorry just a frog in my throat."

"Can you tell them apart?" asked Shikamaru trying to dodge paternity, after all he'd already made his deal with Sakura before this show was out of the planning stages.

"Fine, son I'll accept the girls as mine, even though your mother wanted to kill me when she found out."

"Oh, and Sakura was NEVER my girlfriend, ever," said Shikamaru.

"Oh, so you swing that way?"

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind. Let's go on, shall we?" said the interviewer crossing his legs in a feminine way. "Do you ever spend time with your daughters."

"Both Shikamaru and I do spend time with them. It's impossible to tell whose is whose, so we treat them the same."

"Yeah, that they're yours, right dad?"

"Oh, of course," replied Shikaku. "That's right. They spend time in the Nara forest getting to know the deer and around the house. My wife prefers to treat them both like they are her grandchildren rather than step-children. It just makes it easier on everyone."

"Ino prefers to think of them as Sakura's kids," laughed Shikamaru.

"It sounds like your wives wear the pants around the family," lisped the interviewer, smiling. "Does that mean I have a chance with you boys?"

"Ugh," groaned Shikamaru.

"No, it doesn't," answered Shikaku. "My wife would have something to say about that."

"Mine too."

The interviewer pulled out a pink, sparklely notebook with the word "Boyfriends" in large print on it's cover. He licked the end of the pencil before writing in the notebook.

"That's a no, then. Too bad you boys are sexy young bucks."

"Yuck," whispered a cameraman.

"Ha, see you're still young dad," Shikamaru elbowed his father.

Shikaku sweat dropped and tried to change the subject. "Uhm, I thought you had more questions for us. Or are you done," he added hopefully.

"Oh no, hardly." The interviewer winked at Shikaku, who turned bright red. "So, the Nara have a clan jutsu. Do the girls learn it?"

Grateful for the question, Shikaku answered, "Sure, they're pretty good too since they have their mother's tight chakra control."

"I'd like feel some of that tight chakra control, studly."

"Uhm, they also learn our medicine and I think Sakura is teaching them medical justsu," put in Shikamaru, tried hard not to giggle at his father's discomfort.

At that moment, Kakashi entered the studio. "Shikamaru, aren't you supposed to be on patrol?"

"Yes, immediately, sir." Shikamaru was blur leaving the room.

Shikaku looked at Kakashi hopefully. "Did you need me Kakashi-sama?"

"In fact I did," replied Kakashi taking in Shikaku plight with the interviewer. "You have that thing to work on?"

"OOOH what thing would that be?"

"It's top secret. You'd better get on it right away. I have village business to take care of."

As Kakashi headed for the door, Shikaku said gratefully, "Thank you Hokage-sama. I knew it was a good idea to nominate you for Hokage."

Shikaku made good his escape much to the dismay of the interviewer. "Darn, another got away. There are more fish sea," He sighed regretfully.


End file.
